WHO DOES THIS JOB?

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Why & How We Must Pray for Pastors

On occasion, some younger pastor seeking counsel coaxes me out of retirement. Typically, he unpacks a perplexing story about a shepherding challenge. He hopes to gain some wisdom from my thirty-six-year ministry history to help navigate his latest flock mess. After these heavy-lifting soul-care conversations, I sometimes lighten the mood a bit jesting with this question: Who does this job anyway?

Over the decades of my sometimes wood-hay-stubble, other times gold-silver-precious stones (1 Corinthians 3:12) pastoral stewardship, some realities about my seemingly impossible task crystallized sooner than others.  Perhaps most importantly? Undershepherds desperately need their sheep’s ongoing prayers for the Chief Shepherd’s (1Peter 5:4) help. Why else would the apostle Paul close one epistle so succinctly, “Brethren, pray for us” (1Thess. 5:25) and entreat the same more specifically in a second to the same church (2 Thess. 3:1-2)? He appealed to another assembly to strive together with him in their prayers (Rom. 15:30). He pleaded yet again elsewhere, “You also must help us by prayer” (2 Cor. 1:11). Look here for more of the same (Eph. 6:18-20; Col. 4:2-3). Another writer urged his readers to pray more earnestly for him (Heb. 13:18-19). Our pastors need our prayers; the Bible tells us so.

Retirement brings all kinds of reflection about one’s vocational past. I’ve pondered often lately about the whys and hows to pray for my pastors. This pastor-turned-sheep remembers the challenges. He knows the need for tons of prayer support. I’ve landed on some whys that inform various hows in supporting your local shepherds with strategic intercession. In this post I want to emphasize just one.

Pastors Are Beset with Inestimable Weakness

At times the Holy Spirit brings my devotional Bible reading to a full stop over a particular passage. That happened recently with Hebrews 5:1-2.

For every high priest chosen from among men is appointed to act on behalf of men in relation to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness (emphasis added).

Weakness. Let that word sink in. The frailty to which all human flesh is heir, as one lexicon puts it. Frailty—like ignorance and waywardness—among countless other weights and close-clinging sins (Heb. 12:1) passed down from Adam. Now, let another word sink in. Beset. That’s how the ESV translates a compound of two Greek words—around/to place, i.e., surrounded. Like Paul’s chains fettered [same word] him about in prison (Acts 28:20), new covenant pastors drag around with them the same restraints of remaining sin that encumbered their old covenant counterparts. Just like their sheep, pastors stumble in many ways. Consequently, they await a stricter evaluation at the final judgment given their influential teaching stewardship (James 3:1-2).  

Like it or not, though above reproach in character as required (1 Tim. 3:2), your pastor still sins like you and I do (Ecc. 7:20). Sometimes he even sins against you! If he’s at all like I have been and still am, he will battle off and on with things like pride, anxiety, insecurity, comparison, anger, immoderate appetites, fear, entitlement, resentment, selfishness, covetousness, self-reliance, demandingness, and a host of other deeds of the flesh (Gal. 5:19-21). So, you must pray for him, let alone deal gently with him as he does with your ignorant/wayward-tending self.

Specific ways to pray for your beset-with-weakness pastor will have to wait for my next post. In the meantime, please be mindful of this candid testimony of the self-confessed chief of sinners (1 Tim. 1:15), Paul the apostle, in Romans 7:

21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

Sufficient for now and always may we pray for our pastors in light of Paul’s answer to his own cry in v. 25: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  Pray that your pastor runs his race relentlessly fixing his eyes, not on his sins, but on the One who kept the law perfectly in his stead and paid the price for his every weakness with precious blood spilt at Calvary (Heb. 12:1-2).

You’ll be the better-off sheep for doing so.

THE ONE THING WORSE THAN TOO FEW ELDERS SERVING THE CHURCH

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Questions to Ask to Help Prevent Affirming the Wrong Ones

Just the other night Jan and I watched a podcast hosted by retired 90-year-old pastor Chuck Swindoll. It featured his interview with Pastor Robert Jeffrees of First Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas. Hard Seasons, Close Calls, and the Grace That Kept Us runs a little over an hour. At one point in their conversation, Dr. Jeffrees turned the tables on his interviewer with a question of his own. It was something on the order of “What’s the biggest mistake you made in all your years of pastoral ministry?”

The answer surprised me a bit. But Dr. Swindoll did not hesitate with his reply: “Laying hands too soon on men to serve as fellow elders.” I suspect some painful stories lie behind that choice of hard seasons. But I get it. I’ve said it many times. There’s only one thing worse than having too few elders to help shepherd the flock; it’s having the wrong ones.

My own church currently suffers from what I fear is an all-too-common dilemma: too few elders for so many people. We feel the pain of it. Fortunately, we have some men in the developmental pipeline whom we hope may well join the leadership ranks in due time. But how will we avoid making a mistake like Chuck Swindoll made?

Thankfully our current elders wisely refuse to rush the process (1 Tim. 5:22). They will only put forward men they believe meet the qualifications and are called to the office. Then the membership must decide to affirm or not each brother under consideration. Here are some of the questions (for both elder and deacon) we must ask ourselves about a candidate as we participate in a process so crucial to the peace and purity of the church.

  1. Does he have a good reputation, both in the church and outside of the church (Acts 6:3)? In other words, do others speak well of him in terms of conduct that reflects Christian commitments and biblical values?

  2. Is he filled with the Spirit and wisdom (Acts 6:3)? Does he manifest the fruit of the Spirit as described in Gal. 5:22-23 and does he demonstrate the wisdom that comes from above as described in James 3:17-18?

  3. Is he full of faith (Acts 6:5)? Without being given to presumption, does he take calculated risks for the glory of God that show belief in what only He can do and without which it is impossible to please Him (Heb. 11:6)?

  4. In the case of a candidate for the office of deacon, is he already busy about serving within the church (1 Tim. 3:10)? Does he imitate the example of Jesus as a servant in the way he lays down his life for others (Matt. 20:25-28)?

  5. In the case of a candidate for the office of elder, is he already busy about shepherding people in some way within the church (1 Peter 5:2)? Do you sense the Spirit of God is upon him for this purpose (Acts 20:28)? Does he have a capacity to teach the Word (not necessarily in the pulpit, but especially personally) and defend sound doctrine in an understandable and effective way (1 Tim. 3:2; Titus 1:9)?

  6. In the case of either office, is he above reproach in terms of his overall godly character (1 Tim. 3:2ff; Titus 1:5ff)? That is to say, not that he is perfect, but that he walks in the light in such a way that no one can make a charge of sin stick to him in terms of the way he lives his life?

  7. If he is married, is he a one-woman-man, rock-solid faithful to his wife in every way (1 Tim. 3:2)? If he is a single man, does he practice self-control and treat women like sisters with all purity (1 Tim. 5:2)?

  8. Does he manage his own household well and if he is a father, are his children who live under his roof and subject to his authority in submission to him as a rule (1 Tim. 3:4-5, 12)?

  9. Does he resonate enthusiastically with the values, mission, and vision of the church (Amos 3:3)?

  10. Is he a peacemaker (Matt. 5:9)? Does he know how to resolve conflict biblically in a manner consistent with the 4 G’s of biblical peacemaking?

  11. Has he been around the church long enough so that we may be assured that we don’t fail by laying hands on him too quickly and thus take part in the sins of others (1 Tim. 5:22)?

  12. Perhaps most importantly, is he ever-growing as a God-entranced, Christ-glorifying, Spirit-filled, church-loving, humility-clothed (1 Pet. 5:5), not-his-own-but-bought-with-a-price beholder of glory in the gospel, thus and only thus empowered to help others do the same (2 Cor. 3:18)?

God’s word sets the bar high when it comes to the qualifications of men fit for office in his church. A lot rides on the men we affirm to serve God and us in the future. We have fewer responsibilities as members which are more important than this one. May the Lord be pleased to bless us with more men such as these.

MAKING SOME SENSE OF MAYHEM & MADNESS

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Remembering the Chaos of Ten Years Ago this Month

Every year the month of June makes me uniquely reflective. My mind cannot help but revisit the chaotic events which occurred back in that month of 2016.

There was individual chaos in my health. Just a little more than three months earlier I underwent an eight-hour surgical reconstruction of my jaw. I posted often about that challenge beginning with A View from the Hospital.

There was relational chaos in my marriage. On May 31, 2016, I lost Nancy, the beloved wife of my youth, to an eighteen-month battle with ovarian cancer. At 5:50 PM that evening I became a widower. I posted often about my journey through the valley of the shadow (Psalm 23:4) beginning with Sad News about My Nancy.

And then there was cultural chaos in my city. On June 12, 2016, 29-year-old Omar Mateen shot and killed 49 people and wounded 58 in a mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando. The news that weekend left me and the nation shocked at the latest occurrence of murderous madness in America.

The following day, Sunday, June 13, I received a call from longtime close friend, Frank Reed. At the time Frank co-hosted the morning show at 94.9 KTLY, Dallas-Ft. Worth, Texas. Like the rest of us, Frank, a onetime resident of Central Florida, suffered from the aftershocks of the Pulse shooting. Beyond that he wondered how they might address the crisis on the air the next day.

He suggested we record an interview about the shooting that they might include in their programming. Imagine my surprise. I swallowed hard but agreed to give it a shot. Not everything I said in the recording made it on air, but what did can be heard at the less than five-minute interview here.

Please remember my title of this post if you care to listen to the interview. I sought to make some sense of the chaos–to offer some comfort to the listeners. More could be and has been said about such tragedies by wiser and better pastor/theologians than I. Still, I trust that some perspective proved better than none for coping with hope through the heartbreaking futility (Romans 8:18-25) of our broken world in seasons like June of 2016.

FORGIVE OR ELSE

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Grappling with One of the Scariest Lines in the Bible

“I need to work on my grace and forgiveness.” With that candid confession, my friend summed up his feelings about a longtime unresolved conflict with once close friends. No doubt you can relate. Few, if any of us, escape the pain of broken relationships that show no sign of mending.

What to do? Take your cue from my friend. Why? Because Jesus threatens terrifying consequences if we fail to forgive. In the Lord’s instruction about how to pray in Matthew’s gospel, the fifth petition reads: And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors (6:12). This petition alone gets an appendix—a footnote, if you will—from Jesus at the end of the prayer. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (emphasis added, 14-15).

Grapple with this sobering reality. Forgive or else. Holding fast to an unforgiving spirit toward anyone puts you at risk of eternal punishment. Martyn-Lloyd Jones explains:

The proof that you and I are forgiven is that we forgive others. If we think that our sins are forgiven by God and we refuse to forgive somebody else, we are making a mistake; we have never been forgiven. The man who knows he has been forgiven, only in and through the blood of Christ, is a man who must forgive others. He cannot help himself. If we really know Christ as our Saviour our hearts are broken and cannot be hard, and we cannot refuse forgiveness. If you are refusing forgiveness to anybody, I suggest that you have never been forgiven.

This is the emphasis of Ephesians 4:32. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. And again, in Colossians 3:12-13: Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

John Piper concurs:

God’s forgiveness is underneath ours and creates it and supports it. So that if we don’t give it to others—if we go on in an unforgiving spirit—what we show is that God is not there in our lives. We are not trusting him. And not trusting him will keep us out of heaven. And cause us to be handed over to the tormentors.

Consider five takeaways to help guard against unforgiveness, adapted from Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker.

One, remember God’s forgiveness. Focus often on just how much God has forgiven you. Beware of taking God’s mercy to you for granted while withholding it from others. The sins of others against us are not more serious than our sins against God. If the Holy Spirit is convicting you today of unforgiveness toward someone, admit it to the Lord, believe the gospel of grace once more which covers that sin, and obey again in the freedom from resentment only He can give. Perhaps you’ve never turned from your sin to trust in Christ. He paid the price for every fault including bitterness and resentment. Come to Him by faith today for forgiveness and get right with God. He’ll give you a new heart and the power to be gracious and forgiving toward others.

Two, practice the virtue of overlooking. Proverbs 19:11 says, Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. The more we practice takeaway #1, seeing and savoring God’s forgiveness of us, the more likely we are to forgive a multitude of sins unilaterally in others. Of course, that is not always possible. In that case . . .

Three, distinguish between two stages of forgiveness. Ideally forgiveness is granted to a confession and repentance for an offense (Luke 17:3-4). That’s transactional forgiveness. But that doesn’t always happen right away and sometimes never happens in this lifetime. While you wait, rely on God’s strength to practice a dispositional forgiveness. This is an attitude that stands ready to transact forgiveness upon repentance with a Jesus-like on the cross “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” kind of grace and mercy (Luke 23:34).

Four, claim Romans 8:28—God working for your good. Even the wrongs others do to us have a plan in God’s sovereignty. Ken Sande writes: When you perceive that the person who has wronged you is being used as an instrument in God’s hand to help you mature, serve others, and glorify him, it may be easier for you to move ahead with forgiveness.

Five, draw on God’s strength. You can’t do this on your own. Try as you might, especially in the face of the worst of offenses, to forgive without God’s mercy and grace empowering you, guarantees failure and bondage to bitterness. But a Philippians 4:13—I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me—dependence enables forgiveness of even the worst of offenses.

We followers of Jesus are the most forgiven people in the world. We should therefore be the most forgiving people in the world through Christ and the hope of His glorious gospel. There is no right praying without that. Scarier still, there is no legitimate salvation assurance without it as well.

TSUNAMIS, CANCER, & THE SHEPHERD’S EXTRAORDINARY CARE

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One of the More Memorable Sermons I’ve Ever Preached–I Think


One gives a lot of sermons over the course of thirty-six years in pastoral ministry. I lost count eons ago.

Most exist to this day in manuscript form tucked away in digital archives. Far fewer have survived still in audio files accessible for download listening. That’s what happens when you’ve recorded messages to cassette tape, then on to CDs, and finally joined the internet streaming revolution.

The cassettes got tossed long ago. Some of the files from my last ministry assignment in Idaho have a home on my SoundCloud account. Thanks to a tech-savvy brother and servant-friend of mine, the collection of some fifty CDs I managed to save covering 2002 to 2005 at Orlando Grace Church now exists at Sermons of Pastor Curt Heffelfinger. Messages preached from 2015 to 2018 toward the close of my Orlando ministry are on file at the Orlando Grace SoundCloud site.

I felt led to devote today’s post to sharing this bit of personal news from my past for a particular reason. At least one of those messages sticks in my recollection of past sermons as particularly memorable. I preached it on June 3, 2005. That weekend our congregation struggled with bad news on two distressing fronts. One concerned the catastrophic Indonesian tsunami that swept away some 230,000 lives. The second hit much closer to home. Pastor Curt has tongue cancer.

I reasoned that our people needed from me as their undershepherd to hear some good news. I opted to preach from Psalm 23 about the Good Shepherd’s extraordinary care in crises like natural disasters and cancer diagnoses. I recently listened to the audio of this sermon I gave over twenty years ago. I was struck how everything I proclaimed from the text that day has proven true since then in my life and ministry and into retirement.

Perhaps you may be battling to trust the Lord in the midst of some distressing news or know someone who is. If so, I offer this word to encourage and bolster a faith that overcomes fear and worry.

By the way, for those who listen knowing only my speech troubles post-cancer treatment, you may find it difficult to believe your ears. Despite the presence of a tumor the size of a large egg in my mouth, I still had my entire tongue and most of my teeth. You will find the audio an easier listening experience!

If you do happen to listen to Tsunamis, Cancer, & the Shepherd’s Extraordinary Care, I’d welcome your comments below as to how the Lord may have helped you as a result. FYI, scroll down to the fourth saved file on the opening page to find the file.

AN OUTDATED TOOL MAKES A WELCOME COMEBACK

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The Strategic Value of a Printed Church Directory


Numerous gains have come with our age of advanced technology. Few, however, will deny the reality of certain losses as well. Among them I count the utility of a printed church directory in favor of a tap-of-the-app digital kind. Granted, an online database makes accessing member contact information a convenience-lover’s dream. But in all the year’s I’ve employed these 21st century church versions, I’ve failed to find them as beneficial to my spiritual life as a good old, handheld, picture-containing church directory.

Major props to the officers of our church for favoring the ancient paths by providing a printed member directory. Who cares if it becomes outdated the moment you publish it? So what if a few more trees must be harvested to print the next edition? Maybe I’m just old and set in ways that prefer to turn pages of a book held in my hands rather than swipe them on a screen, but I find my printed directory so much more conducive to reaping its benefits than my digital options.

Whether you favor the new paths or the old, please consider three ways to use your church directory to the glory of God, the benefit of your church, and the growth of your faith.

One, to keep a covenant promise. Among the sacred things to which we commit in our membership vows is this: “Ever mindful of our fellow members, fellow heirs with Christ, we promise to walk with them in faithfulness, patience, grace and love” (emphasis added). Ever mindful. Talk about a high bar. Our directory contains twenty-nine pages of members with four households per page, except for the last with just two. That’s 114 units. I counted twenty-five of them I’ve yet to meet or know anything about after attending eight months at Grace Fellowship. I expect that number to decrease gradually, but in the meantime the directory helps me keep the still unmet in mind too, along with the rest with whom I already have some connection. More below on how it does that.

Two, to grow in brotherly love. Peter admonishes us, “Above all, love each other deeply” (1 Peter 4:8). Question. Do you feel loved when someone new in your life remembers your name? Of course you do. Names matter. Just read through Romans 16 and Colossians 4. Paul takes great pains to shout out by name all kinds of people and their service to Christ’s church. No matter how hard Jan and I try to recall names on Sundays, we constantly ask each other for help in remembering. But now we have a printed tool with color photos to help us match and review names and faces. And we can make important connections like family relationships that we often miss when just meeting a spouse or another family member. We also recall requests others have asked us to remember on their behalf. Our love for the body grows as a result.

Three, to help with intercessory prayer. None of us survives the battle with spiritual forces without the prayer support of other saints (Eph. 6:18-20). The directory adds a weapon to my devotional life the use of which use doesn’t require all that much additional time or effort. Take one page a day—that’s only four households—and pray a passage/verse of Scripture for each. This month I’m asking the Father to make 2 Peter 3:18 a reality in each household’s life. I add anything personal I know about them as well. Then I pick one of those households and text or email them a quick message of encouragement letting them know I’ve taken them before the Father that day. Do that consistently, or some version better suited to your schedule, and who knows what the Lord might do in our church as a result.

One 9Marks pastor considers a church directory the second most important book a pastor owns. He argues from Hebrews 13:17 for a pastor’s unique accountability for his members’ care which he does not have for Christians elsewhere. They are the sheep of his pasture, not someone else’s. The directory helps keep his priorities focused accordingly. Similarly, members of a local church steward unique accountability and support to their other covenant members in ways unlike other believers they know. Shouldn’t that make our church directories terribly important to us as well?

Brothers and sisters, let’s make good use of our tried-and-true church directories.

PURITAN PEACEMAKING

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The Best of Jeremiah Burroughs on Matthew 5:9


Upon retirement I gave away a number of books from my personal library. Among the ones I kept and that lately has captured a part of my quiet time reflection comes from the pen of Puritan Jeremiah Burroughs (1599-1646). The Saints’ Happiness: Forty-One Sermons on the Beatitudes, includes no less than four messages on Matthew 5:9.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

In this post, I have captured a sample of Burrough’s best on this subject so crucial to a legitimate claim to the identity child of God. Read and pursue your happiness, saint!

It is interesting to note the placement of this Beatitude—it is the seventh in order. In Proverbs 6, we find a list of seven things that the Lord hates, and the seventh item mentioned is “one who sows discord among brethren.” In contrast to God’s hatred, the seventh blessing pronounced is upon the peace-makers.

Those who keep themselves pure, with clean hearts and consciences, are peaceable and capable of making peace with others.

A contrary disposition—one that is stubborn and perverse—is cursed. But a peaceable, gentle, and quiet disposition is blessed. Moreover, it is even more blessed to be an instrument in bringing about peace in the places where we live and among those with whom we interact. In the present times, there is a great need for peace-makers.

Blessed are those who, having experienced the blessedness of peace themselves and having obtained peace with God, earnestly desire to bring others into reconciliation with Him. Blessed is the person who, in a gracious manner, labors to draw others into peace with God and whom God blesses in these endeavors.

Jesus Christ’s heart is so committed to being a peace-maker between the world and God that He willingly sheds His blood and even becomes a curse. Consider, you children of men, the vast distance that existed between God and you, and how Christ— both God and man—had to intervene to make peace between you and God. He shed His blood and became a curse to accomplish this great work of God. This, my brethren, is the great mystery of godliness. We should spend our days in admiration, standing, wondering, and blessing our Saviour, the great peace-maker.

To meddle with the subject of peace between man and man is one of the most challenging tasks for any minister, especially during such times. It is difficult because people’s hearts are impure, filled with filth and uncleanness, and how does one go about making peace with them? It is difficult because hardly anyone can bring themselves to acknowledge that they are in any way responsible for the lack of peace among others.

A person who wishes to meddle in matters of peace among others must first ensure that their own relationship with God is well. They must possess a peaceable disposition themselves. If someone of a froward or turbulent disposition were to speak of peace and denounce divisions, everyone would be ready to challenge them. They must exhibit much self-denial, not considering themselves or their own party in any way, but aiming purely for God’s glory and the public good. Therefore, it is evidence of much grace in the heart, and thus the person is blessed. They are blessed when they handle matters wisely, prudently, and graciously.

When you are tempted to a fit of passion, know that the devil expects a great deal of sin to follow. Now blessed are the peace-makers, for they are the means to prevent an abundance of sin. That is a most blessed thing. What greater blessing can a person have than to be an instrument in preventing sin? It is a blessed thing to prevent even one sin, but to be an instrument in preventing so much sin must undoubtedly be blessed.

Blessed are the peace-makers, for they are instrumental for God in a work that He greatly delights in. When you read the Scriptures, you will find no duty more emphasized, backed by arguments, motives, and persuasions, and no duty that has stronger exhortations than peace. Read the Epistles to the Philippians, Ephesians, Colossians, Romans, and Corinthians, and you will consistently find that peace is what the Holy Spirit most persuades men to pursue. Even Christ Himself, the great peace-maker, is concerned not only with peace between God and us but also between man and man.

If people do not have wicked and vile hearts, when their corruption is stirred, and they have bitter thoughts and desperate resolutions, if God sends a person of peace to them—someone who approaches them with a calm and peaceable spirit, persuades them with scripture, and quells their boiling emotions, cooling their passionate hearts and dampening their desperate resolutions—then, if they are not desperately wicked, they will see cause to bless God for it. They will say, “Well, blessed be God who sent such a person to prevent me. I now see that I would have done something I would have later regretted.”

Want to read more? You can access an eBook version on Monergism. More to come soon in a series of posts.

GET GOOD NOT EVEN

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Overcoming Love When Peacemaking Seems Impossible


In coaching sessions with folks in conflict with others, I frequently quote Romans 12:18.

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

We can’t hope to control what someone else does about our issue with them, but we can take ownership of our personal approach to the situation. Love constrained by the gospel of Jesus as described in the immediate context (Romans 12:9-17), pulls out all the stops to achieve reconciliation. But what if all attempts fail? Even worse, what if our conciliatory efforts result in increased hostility and sinful behavior from the other party?

Even then gospel love kicks things up another notch. The rest of Romans 12 calls for nothing less than a supernaturally aided, two-fold strategy.

19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Tactic #1 Never try to get even. Leave things with God who rights every wrong in due time. Instead, employ tactic #2: Treat your enemy just the opposite. Don’t repay evil for evil. Refuse to get even; overcome evil with good.

In Robert Peterson’s biography of Robert Chapman: Apostle of Love, he relates a story from the much-beloved life of the 19th century British pastor. It beautifully illustrates the power of a Romans-12 kind of overcoming love.

A grocer in Barnstaple became so upset when Chapman was preaching in the open air that he strode up to where Chapman was standing and spit on him. Later one of Robert’s wealthy relatives came to Barnstaple to visit him and to try and understand his activities. Arriving by horse-drawn cab at the address given to him, the relative at first would not believe that Chapman lived in such a simple abode in such a poor neighborhood. Chapman ushered him into the clean but simple interior and explained what living in dependence on the Lord meant and how the Lord had provided for all his needs.

The relative asked if he could purchase groceries for him. Chapman gladly assented but stipulated that he must buy the food from a certain grocer. The relative went there, made a large purchase, and paid the bill. When the grocer learned that the food was to be delivered to R. C. Chapman, he said that the visitor must have come to the wrong shop. Chapman’s relative, however, replied that Chapman himself had specifically directed him to that shop. The grocer, who had viciously attacked and castigated Chapman for years, broke down in tears. Soon he came to Chapman’s house, asked forgiveness, and yielded his life to Christ.

Perhaps we can’t truly say we’ve done all we possibly can as peacemakers, until we heap some burning coals of good upon the evil heads that spit on us.

BEYOND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

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An Introduction to Relational Wisdom 360


I recently added a new page to my website. It’s called Curt’s Links. There you will find additional help for growing as a do-it-best peacemaker and preserver of unity in your church.

All eight ministries listed contribute their unique focus to this area of our spiritual lives. My mentor and friend Ken Sande heads up a particularly valuable resource called Relational Wisdom (aka, “RW360”). The “About” button includes this summary of their mission:

To develop a new generation of training resources that integrate peacemaking, emotional intelligence, coaching and conciliation. These resources are being used to equip people with improved relational skills they can use not only to resolve conflict but also to prevent it from occurring in the first place.

For a twenty-minute introduction to this indispensable tool for your relational WQ, please check out Kirk Cameron’s interview with Ken:

By the way, I have personally completed the online training course and found it very helpful!